#and this IS a list of things I know I won't get so...

[mtcloudsworld]

Can I please request a fic for Jason maybe how he would react to meeting a reader (black fem reader) who’s super confident so open about her attraction to him just out right saying he’s sexy/fine to their mutual friends idk I just need some Jason feeling wanted and knowing his feelings are reciprocated ❤️❤️❤️

𝐉𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐎 | j.todd x black fem reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 | I didn't give much description on the reader but it is black fem reader intended. I just got lost in the sauce is all lol. No warnings except that it's just fluff with some errors here and there probably. Just ignore them if you can.

⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁

Let's put a little spin on the block shall we?

I think in this case, Jason knows a little bit of you right? He knows just a portion of you because Roy talks about you like your next big thing. He finally gets to meet you at your best friend's birthday party. At first he was kinda on the outskirts like he usually is but when you come around, he'll admit, he sees what all the hype's about. Y'all hung out a few times after that. There have been some great conversations and what not, went as far as exchanging numbers and as of recently they've been noticing the shared glances, the smiles, jokes and what not.

And you're friends? Well... they're betting their money and a life time supply of ass kissing that something beautiful just might happen between you two.

Now Jason hasn't really put himself into the dating scene yet, now of course he's had a few crushes along the way but nothing too serious.

And as you sit back in the perimeter of his space, in this friendly medium size cafe, smelling the fresh scent of coffee beans and cologne, in the proximity of his warmth, with the sun beaming past his face, you gazed over that jaw dropping, god like face and into those baby blue eyes-- you can't help but to think: How could anyone NOT like him? How could he NOT have a girlfriend already?

The man is built-- massive, muscles and all. 6 ft something, prince charming material, top tier sense of humor, tempting, a whole ass meal, sensible, a gentleman, girl dinner, a lover, a protector, a man you'd let bend you over on the kitchen counter and fuck the living shit out of you--

I mean, the list could really go on and on and on and on honey

His behavior, personality and quirks were all so cute and attractive, and of course you haven't seen the night terrors or any scars he has to deal with, but trust and believe that's manageable. it's just enough to want you to get to know him on a deeper level.

⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜⏜︵♡︵⏜︵

As you watched him walk to retrieve yet another book, you couldn't help but release a soft sigh in bliss. "God he is so fine." Roy and your best friend roll their eyes, smiling from ear to ear as they give shared glances. They knew your interest was peeked, they also knew you've been wanting to shoot your shot for sometime now, but strangely, you haven't had the courage to do so. "Girl just go over there and talk to the man."

You give them a shy smile and shrug, "I don't want to seem weird though."

Your best friend chuckles, head shaking as she nudges her shoulder into yours, "I promise you won't. Trust me, go talk to him."

You sigh in defeat, giving a curt nod before standing to your feet and walking over to him. You weren't close by for him to sense your presence yet. However he caught a whiff of your scent lingering nearby, he has recognized it, studied it and memorized it all once before and you were the only person who wore this distinct fragrance. So, naturally, when you came closer, his attention turns to you. The sight of his eyes glowing in happiness and the smirk that rises to his lips makes your insides twist in relish. Feeling your cheeks burn and lips curl into a smile as you stand close by "So, whose your next victim?" You'd ask playfully looking down at the book in his hand with cluelessness and innocence pooling in your eyes.

⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜⏜︵♡︵⏜︵

And you? You're so beautiful. So, so beautiful. He could look at you for hours upon hours upon hours and could never get enough of you. The way your skin glowed in the sunlight was exquisite. The rich tone of your voice sent a sweet ring to his ears as he listened to you talk. Charming in every sense-- your charisma sent him blushing, every flirtatious comment and glare you sent his way made butterflies swarm in his stomach.

Your confidence was blunt. Bold in every way, inspiring and admirable. He found the things and the people you loved were drawn from deep passion. You were undeniably sweet, so sweet that it felt so unfamiliar to him. Your touch, gentle and warm, made a part of his shoulder or arm tingle with want and need.

He may look cool calm and collected on the outside but inside?

Baby that man's heart is punching against his ribcage 😭 his skin is hot and he's trying his damn hardest not to make a fool of himself.

And the way you say his name?!?! Uggggh, his heart, his poor little heart!

Effortlessly you've got this man wrapped around your tiny little finger. Your independence was attractive, the way you care for others wa tender and lovely. He liked how you thought about him constantly, your genuine care for him was sudden but expected, you never shy away from inviting him places, buying his favorite snacks and what not. Just, sigh, everything about you made him feel uplifted and seen.

But even when he's feeling all these emotions, and these little things are happening to spike his blood pressure, somewhere in the deepest part of his brain where insecurity dwells, he believes you're way out of his league.

⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜⏜︵♡︵⏜︵

Where Jason resides, he stood and observed from a distance you and your best friend chatting it up with a mutual coworker you hadn't seen in a minute. Undoubtedly it was a guy and Jason couldnt help but feel a little jealous??? couldn't help but feel like yeah, you're beautiful and single and have every right to talk and cheese all in another guy's face.

Yet, he couldn't shake this mixture of feelings that although he wants you all to himself, he feels he's not worthy enough to be something more for you. He doesn't feel worthy enough to have you when he does all these bad things-- living a double life.

He's basically stuck between a rock and hard place, and Roy can see it. His brows knitted in dissatisfaction, pondering his choices as he burned holes into the guy's head, but still, he glanced at you with tenderness.

"I don't think I'm good enough Roy, not even the slightest." He murmured, seated at the table across from his friend, playing with the red solo cup between his fingers. "If I told her what I was all about, I bet you she'll walk away-- I know she would."

"But you don't know that," Roy argued, gently. "You can't just assume the worst if nothing has happened yet."

"You say you're not good enough and that she may not like you, but you don't realize the most energy she gives you than any other person out there. She's drawn to you, Jason, more than you think. You're worthy of having a relationship, of being happy, of being loved... you're worthy of all of that. Stop saying you aren't because you are."

And fortunately, Roy was right. He was always right.

Because as Jason was left to his thoughts (Still hesitating and having a hard time believing it all). There was a moment when you noticed him all alone, pouting a little. Ditching the duo to approach him instead made his heart clench. You were all smiles, reaching for his hand and suggesting for them to take a walk.

He could never resist you, even if he tried.

⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜⏜︵♡︵⏜︵

He felt you could do so much better than him.

But you didn't want better, did you?

You didn't want anybody else.

You didn't have your eye on anybody else because you were too busy gawking at the physique and personality of a god who could have you folding in 2.5 seconds. You were starstruck, in awe and it was kinda hard to believe that Jason was oblivious to it all when you are so open and blunt about it.

Soooooo, what can you do? Hm?

What can you do to make this man understand that you are into him?

⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜⏜︵♡︵⏜︵

"Looks like you've got something on your mind."

You blink.

Your head turns to him, humming in response once you come back to your senses. In the middle of the dance floor, all alone now, held by the waist as you swayed slowly underneath the starry night sky, dim lighting from the hanging lights along the tent. You give him a close-lip smile in reassurance and shrug, adjusting your arms around his shoulders a little.

"I hope you're not bored of me."

"Pfft, bored?" You snicker amusingly. "you're anything but boring, Todd."

"You're never this quiet though."

He notices your mood switches, "...I know." You've grown quiet, hesitant as you avoid eye contact now.

Jason frowns. Eyes trained on, his hands squeeze at your hips for a second, grasping your attention again. His thumbs begin to caress at your sides soothing the nerves bubbling from within, admiring the giant before you.

"What's on your mind?" His voice grew curious. Yet you couldn't shake off the caring tone in his voice. Blue eyes swirl with need and want. He spoke with deep vibrato, placing you in a trance of encouragement for you to speak.

You hum, gaze diverted elsewhere as you ponder in thought. Your cheeks start to burn, then a chuckle and next a groan. A sudden burst of bashfulness on your face grows as you lean into his chest, attempting to cover the embarrassment all over your face.

A helpless groan is heard, "I don't wanna say..."

Jason gulps, clearing his throat at the action. Trying his hardest to not freak out as your face practically nestles into him. "No, c'mon what is it? Clearly it's bothering you if you're thinking so deeply about it." He says causally.

There was a silence, one that was filled with anticipation. And then there was a sigh, one of defeat and submission as you start to speak again. "Have you ever... liked someone so much you wish you could tell them without dying inside?"

"A little dramatic if I'm being honest but yeah... I've had my fair share of crushes in the past." He humors, gazing over you. "Why you ask?"

"I may...or may not have a crush on somebody." You say, hesitantly

"Hm. Whose the lucky bastard?"

Your gazes locked, and for a split second you thought he was joking. You thought that maybe he'd give you a playful smirk and say, "what? you didn't think I know?" But he doesn't do any of that. He's seriously asking who this crush of yours was.

So you toy with him murmuring, "I doubt you'd know anything about him."

"Hm," he shrugs, clueless. "A little background check wouldn't hurt none." He couldn't possibly be this oblivious but he was. It made you smile, endearingly. It honestly made you want to laugh because this was just sickly cute and silly of him to think it was anybody but him.

"it's you.. Jason."

The smile on his face slowly fades away, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks when h recollects your words.

"...what?"

"It's you. I have a crush on you Jason." You admit confidently this time. You slowly feel yourselves pull away, watching as his eyes grow slightly wide in shock, brows knitted in confusion. "I've liked you for a while now. Ever since we met I've always thought you were the most sexiest man I've ever laid eyes on." Your bluntness makes him blush along the tips of his ears to his cheeks. "You're a sweet man, Jay. I find it hard not to think about you daily. You make me feel happy, you make me feel acknowledged when you consider me." You sigh, "I just don't understand how a man like yourself don't have a girlfriend already. You're not ugly, you're far from that. You're a confident charmer, flirtatious even. Even when you say you don't mean to do so intentionally, it just comes out of you naturally. I love how sensible and caring, you are. I know that vulnerability can be hard for you because of your past but I can tell, you wanted to be needed at the end. I wanted more. Even the way you look at me its.ljke you're begging for me to stay a little longer, begging for me to be yours only, begging for a chance." His eyes flickered shut to the feeling of your hand cupping at his cheek, nestled in the palm of your hand as if he was a cat begging to be scratched. "I like every aspect of you, Jay," you say sweetly, your bodies drawing closer till there was no space between you two to fill. "I don't want to lose this feeling, this connection we have? I don't want it to go away." You whisper cupping his face now, you're foreheads meeting and hooded gazes locked now.

He doesn't say anything, and you frown.

"Jason? Please say something. Anything? I promise you I won't get upset if you don't feel the same. I know it's a little sudden, I get it, but I didn't know how else to tell--"

⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜⏜︵♡︵⏜︵

His lips smashed against yours that night, shutting up any doubts or hesitation you both might've had at that moment. While you were quick to submission and he was quick to need, your lips moved slowly yet eagerly, in tune with yours. His hands weren't hesitant to hold you close, wasn't hesitant to groan in the kiss as your finger tugged at his hair. Growing an obsession at the taste of each other, your both breathless, small moans are heard and internally his heart was fluttering to you clinging to him. You both didn't want to break the kiss. But you had to. You had to, unreluctantly catch your breath. Just in time to see heart eyes glare into yours, to see that smirk dance along his lips. You giggle, turning head to the side as you feel your cheeks burning again. His nose bumps into your cheek, strong arms deciding to wrap around you possessively as he kisses between your jaw and neck.

⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜⏜︵♡︵⏜︵

Later that night, you had called him to let him know you made it home safely. The call was supposed to be short and sweet but...

"I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize..."

You smiled as you placed the phone beside you, laying on your side as you close your eyes for a moment. You hum, "I think you were just hesitant, had a a difficult time believing it. You chose to ignore the signs because you felt you weren't good enough, which is not true."

"...Maybe." silence. "It's just strange to me, unfamiliar to hear someone say they want me."

"Well...I want you Jason, I really do." He could hear the smile on your voice as you spoke with such sweet softness. Admittedly he felt he could die in that moment, as he smirked down at the phone in his hand.

"Then...you can have me, all of me."

⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜⏜︵♡︵⏜︵

Let's just say in the end there was no keeping this boy away from you, he was head over heels for you. You gave him security, you gave him communication, the space to be vulnerable when he least expected it. He felt more spoiled than you did in the relationship and that was okay. He deserved every bit of it just as much as you did. It took some time to admit who he truly was, to understand why he worked so late and came to you with all kinds of wound and bruises. His past and trauma made sense. But it didn't make you view him any less of a boyfriend. Actually, it turned you on even more. It was more sexy to know you were dating a badass vigilante who gave two fucks about his reputation, but was willing to protect you at every cost.

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑 | sorry this took me a minute. I had soooo many ideas for this one and just couldn't choose what route to go on. Sorry if it's not what you wanted I completely understand.

Like, comment, reblog. Requests are open so if you have an idea you'd like me to write out, I'm all ears 😁

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃

𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐋 ©𝐦𝐭𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐬 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓

[c4tluver02]

full machine

wc: 1.3k

summary: Steve is finding it hard to make it up to you, seemingly making things worse. What could he do to make it up to you?

warnings: none! angst , hurt , slow burn ;)

a/n: eee i am so glad u guys liked the first fic !!!! i am also doing a tag list so pls lmk if u want to be tagged for the third part :D

part 1, part 2, part 3

I'll heal eventually, but faster if you're next to me. ♫

Two weeks have come and gone since Steve had last seen you. Normally you take a week and a half to two weeks to return the film… Not that Steve kept track or anything. But he was waiting for you. He needed to talk to you about your last visit and hopefully explain himself. 

A few days after it all happened Robin was back with Steve at Family Video and he told her everything that had happened. The way you so graciously offered to help him, to the way you left like there was some bomb that Steve didn’t know about. It was just another thing he had to deal with, one more dent in his beat up armor. Which when he really took time to think about it maybe he was saving you. It felt like a waste of a charity case for you to spend all this time to get to know him when there's nothing to stay for. You were worth more than that– you deserve more than having to deal with all the trauma he has or listening to how hard it is putting on a brave face for the kids. 

So a rehearsed speech is what felt safe. A simple way of telling you to run and don't look back but in a way that wouldn't hurt you any further. It was killing two birds with one stone really, you wouldn't be stuck with him and he wouldn't feel devastated when you left. A full proof plan. 

– 

Although Steve would have appreciated a day or two more to think over his plan but here you were the next day. Waiting at the counter in the prettiest sundress Steve thinks he's ever seen. Your hair is curled perfectly and the closer he gets to the counter the more he can smell your perfume– so sweet and warm. 

“Hi, you're back!” It comes out casual but Steve's heart is thumping so loud he worries if you could hear it. 

“Yeah I have a movie to return.” You say sliding it across the counter to him. The barely there smile you gave did nothing to heal him. 

Steve wants to blame the lack of time he had to prepare for how he stands there just looking at you. The day he normally waits for is now here and it isn't going how it's supposed to. Your big smile is nowhere to be found and the laugh that makes his dreaded thoughts go away isn't heard.

“Y’look real pretty.” He's typing the movie into the system, not even looking at you as he says it but you know it's sincere. Everything about Steve is sincere, you've never known him to think too little about someone. 

You’re unable to stop your cheeks flushing at the complement. “Thanks, I’m about to go on a date.” 

Steve thinks he could have gotten whiplash at how fast he just turned his head to look at you. Here you are in his store all dolled up for someone else. He must have done something dreadfully awful in his past life to deserve this. 

“A date huh? With who?” The tape is long forgotten and Steve has his arms holding himself up on the counter in case the answer wipes him out completely. 

“A guy I met at the pool.” You feel like you're in the police station with a bright light on you. The interrogation feeling completely uncalled for after he was the one who turned you down. 

Steves thankful he was holding himself up, the thought of you in a bathing suit and some guy snatching you up was good enough to make him feel sick. He knows how men work. He's a man for crying out loud. He’ll use you for a hook up and you’ll feel even worse and because of Steve's stupid screw up you won't come to him for help. 

“Y’sure that he's not some douche that wants a hookup?” Steve asks, tilting his head to the side. He just wants you to rethink this, maybe stay with him and talk things through. You’ll leave happier and Steve will feel better. 

But if looks could kill he’d be dead on spot. “Thanks for your concern Steve but despite what you may think, guys actually like me and want to go out with me. So if I'm all good I've gotta go.” You grab your bag and head towards the door before he even has time to respond. It's quick and painful like someone shot him, the wound would be felt for weeks. 

–

And Steve was right. He had gotten no sleep, his nightmares were long and horrific. Nothing was helping him and there was no one he could turn to. The dark bags under his eyes were matching evidence of it. Robin came over one day to try to help but nothing came of it. If he could talk to you now he’d explain everything. That the kids come crying to him 6 out of 7 days of the week, Jonathan and Nancy use him as a dating advice counselor more than a friend, Robin needs reassurance that she's not messing Vickie up with her night terrors. It's all too much and Steve doesn't know where you’d fit into it. Why’d you even want to fit into it? He’s been doing it for years and still doesn't have a hang of it, the notion of you leaving from the first sight of wreckage would be the thing that ends Steve.  

An idea Robin had was to take all the kids to get ice cream to ‘get his mind right’ as she put it. So he made it happen, sure it was 11pm on a Saturday night but if anyone knows that no one sleeps it’s Steve. All the kids were down to come out and enjoy a nice free ice cream night. It was getting hotter and even though the sun was long gone the ice cream still melted fast. 

“You look awful.” Mike says licking his ice cream from the cone. Steve asked for them all to get cups in hopes his car isn't ruined but none of them did so they are finishing it outside. 

“I know. I haven't left my place in days.” Normally Steve wouldn't let the kids even see him like this let alone tell them how depressed he's been. 

“You ever think about just going to her place and saying you're sorry?” Now it’s Dustin asking but the ice cream is leaking through the bottom of the cone getting all over his shoes. 

“Where do you think between all this I just got her address?” Steve asks, rolling his eyes. Maybe children wasn't the best to bring this up to. 

“Well you have her address in your system, you have it for anyone who rents movies.” Max adds. 

“That sounds very stalkerish.” Okay yeah this definitely isn't something he should be talking about with the kids. 

“What you need is a big gesture to show her you care. Going out of your way to her is the type of thing that will at the very least get you a conversation with her.” Dustin says. He’s not wrong. Unless you pretend to not hear the doorbell ring or the knock on the door a conversation would definitely be in order. 

The conversion ends there and Steve drops each kid off at their house. Not wanting them to be out too late, there's still hope to save their sleep schedule. 

He wants to call Rob to see if this is just a case of Steve being around kids too much or if she thinks this could actually work. Either way he knows she won't judge him for it but it's too late to ask now. Just something that will have to be held off for tomorrow when she finally sees him at work. Maybe, hopefully, tonight instead of seeing the Creel house in his dreams, he'll see you.

tag list: @ahead-fullofdreams

[politicallyfuckoff]

"Gonna get it together"

Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so fucking sick of this country. No, I'm not American, I have no American heritage, I have never been to America and never plan to go, but still, on the other side of the world, I hear more about them than I do my own country.

I know more about Trump than I do my own country's leaders. I know more about Hegseth and Vance than I do my own country's laws. I know more about the tariff wars between one rich country being led by a toddler with another, than I know my closest grocery store prices that are local, and actually paying the farmers producing the wares they are selling.

But you know what's even worse? The fact that I have to know, because all the shit First Felon is doing, is going to affect me, too, at one point. Half the conversations I have with friends and family are about whether or not we support or condemn the president and his incompetent crew controlling him from behind the scenes, because I have to figure out if I'm safe with them or not.

I saw a YT video the other day of a woman ranking the safety of certain groups and their necessity of getting the fuck out of America. I'm part of almost every one, except for the "You're fine" groups which were all those willing to get behind the atrocities the president is doing. I'm white, that's about the only thing making me safe if I were in America. I'm trans, disabled, pro-Palestine, against the president, and I'm not scared to show it with my short, colored hair, baggy rainbow inspired clothes and Keffiyeh. I'd rather get killed in his attempts to conquer the world than abandon my entire belief system and moral compass for self preservation.

I've said it since I first heard of him in 2016, and I won't ever stop: Fuck Trump. I hope his coffee is forever cold, that his precious golf club is always skewed and hits the ball off course, that his cronies continue to dismantle his own acts by accident because they're so mind-numbingly incompetent, and that his sleep is forever disturbed by the feeling of something crawling on his face. This is the least he deserves. The best? To finally get imprisoned for his inhumanely long list of federal crimes, to get sued to his bare bones by everyone he ever did wrong. The same goes for everyone on his team, and anyone who ever stood behind him.

For those who changed their mind; did you only reconsider after you were a direct target yourself, or did your values actually change? If the latter isn't the answer, you, too, deserve to be forever disturbed in the most infuriating ways.

Conservative white privilege is the refuge of scumbag racists and misogynists.

[aphrosheir]

>>> Red Hair, Red Wine, Red Handed Pt. 3 <<<

[A/N: Last part, darlings! I hope you enjoyed!]

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

"So... Melissa and I kind of got into a fight earlier."

After a couple of hours, a whole barrage of shit hitting the fan, and a handful of longing stares while they were sure that the other wasn't looking, (Y/N) and Melissa arrived at the penultimate task of cleaning up.

"Y'know, I used to spend my Christmas with my family."

The shorter woman's ears perked up, sneaking a glance at the woman who seemed all too preoccupied by the rug on her hands, wiping down the rest of the grease on the counter top.

"I—yeah, same." (Y/N) admits with a soft sigh. "I hope we didn't ruin your plans this year though?"

She shook her head, red curls shifting slightly, "I stopped comin' after the divorce. Didn't need to give my ma and Kirsten Marie any more ammunition than they already do."

Just then, Melissa's mood seemed to have shifted. Something akin to joy, relief, or being hopeful, radiating off the small smile tugging at her lips. "I think we're actually done, (Y/N)."

"Yeah! I think my kitchen got its fair dose of lovin' today. I don't go in here as much as I used to. Being on a teacher's salary and all, you cross fresh produce and hot meals off your list."

"You tell me," Melissa chuckled. "But, it's been nice to cook with someone for a change. These gabortz can't usually be allowed in the kitchen without full parental supervision."

"Usually, my dad and I are the ones bustling around the kitchen. But, lately he's been busy and all." (Y/N) nodded solemnly as she put her utensils in their proper bin, grabbing a glass of wine and a bottle to share with the redhead. "Says I got to find my own kitchen bud since I'm all grown."

"Please, couldn't even get my ex Joe to step foot in the kitchen unless it's for a beer," she says as she graciously accepts the finely aged Sauvignon that (Y/N) handed her.

"What, with a woman like you? If that were me, I'd be sittin' at the counter tops, mopping the ceiling if it meant getting to spend time with you."

"That guy was a real dud, you know." she mutters, raising her glass to Melissa. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say your taste was non-existent."

"I wouldn't say so." Melissa swirled the wine in her glass, staring at the red mark she had left on the rim. Then she gulped it back like she was trying to swallow something sharper.

Meanwhile, (Y/N) had already downed her liquid courage, looking like she was planning on something more than pre-gaming. "I'm just saying, if it were me, I'd even learn how to tackle and do a touchdown thingy. All for you, Schemmenti."

"Calm it, shortstack. Wouldn't want you hurting yourself," Melissa quipped with a laugh—sharp enough to cut. "Cut the BS. It’s just you an’ me."

"It's true, though." (Y/N) stared hard at her fourth glass of wine, clearly a little more drunk than sober.

And those words? Well, they sounded a bit too true to Melissa's liking.

"Alright, enough," she said, her voice dropping to that dangerous tone that tells (Y/N) that she's toeing the line between being fucked senseless or half-beaten to death by the woman in front of her.

Right now, (Y/N) couldn't care less and happily skipped over that line. "Enough? Enough of what?"

"You don't gotta pretend with me. Ain't no friends here to laugh at your cute little jokes, an' I sure as hell won't be your practice target for the next girl you decide to fall for."

"I meant what I said Melissa."

(Y/N) shot back her fifth glass with conviction.

"That's the thing! You don't know what you're saying."

Melissa followed suit, slamming the glass down soon after, almost breaking it on the marble top.

"What does that mean," she whispered, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

"You're a sweet little thing who's drunk on too much wine and shit like 13 Going on 30, thinkin' that love is just a little fairytale wish come true. Well, you won't find that here, because in the fairy tale, I'm the Wicked fuckin' Witch that everyone wants dead!"

"Melissa, I’m young. Not stupid." (Y/N)'s voice was quiet, steady. "And I’m not blind either. I see someone worth loving."

Melissa stepped closer. Too close. She snatched the bottle from (Y/N)’s hand, drained what was left like it burned.

"Yeah? Well, that's what Joe thought too."

"Well, I'm not Joe."

Melissa laughed again, but this time it stuck in her throat. She stared hard at (Y/N), red-rimmed eyes wide, chest heaving.

"Exactly, (Y/N)," she whispered, voice cracking for real now.

"You're not. 'Cause you actually make me feel like it's real."

It's 8 pm, the party revs up. The plan is in order. Barbara and Ava are in their places. Gerald has arrived a few minutes ago and is quite confused as to why his wife's 30-something, white co-worker is talking his head off about types of wines. O'shon is setting up the karaoke machine, Abbott-proofing it to prevent the Great Mic Blackout of 2024 from happening again. Gregory and Janine are talking to Melissa and (Y/N). And Mr. Santa Johnson Claus is getting his holiday glee awn.

"We are gathered here today, loved ones," Barbara starts, tone pointed. It makes Gerald's eyebrows knit.

"Did I... Did I do something wrong?"

"To celebrate the birth of our beloved saviour, Jesus. He who lived amongst us and died for our sins."

Barbara continues, voice steady but with the faint tremble of unhinged resolve, “And in His spirit, we come together to reflect on love, forgiveness… and the courage it takes to stop being cowards about our feelings."

Gerald blinks. "Dear. What is happening?"

Ava steps forward, taking the microphone from Barbara's hands. "Alright, Abbott family! Who's ready to get their game on?"

Cheers erupt from the room.

"First, we shall enjoy a dinner, prepared by (Y/N)—our host—and our local Italian, Melissa. Would the both of you please step forward so we can applaud your hard-work properly."

"I don't think that's necessary, Ava. And plus, you all brought your own dishes, right? We are all to celebrate here."

"Yeah, yeah," Melissa raises her eyebrows with no trace of glee on her face, "Get on with it, Ava!"

Gregory huffs, clearly frustrated. "That's strike one. I just—why can’t these two follow one simple direction," he shrieks.

Jacob takes the lead on the second plan, "Alright, party people! The dance floor is now open."

"Trust me. You cannot go wrong with a little boogie."

"Operation Happy Feet, Happy Lips is a go," Ava whispers as she is hitting the shopping cart to the Cha Cha Slide. She electric slides up to (Y/N) to pull her into the dance circle.

"Criss cross~" the speaker booms as Barbara shuffles behind Melissa.

"I don't see you criss crossing, Melissa," she reminds her in a sing-songy voice, her honey voice laced with poison as she coaxes the redhead deeper into the makeshift dance floor.

"Damn. Barb can criss cross. Her cha cha is real smooth." Ava brags to the camera.

"Cha cha real smooth~"

Thud.

The record scratches. Everyone is frozen. (Y/N) is basically making out with the floor.

"Ouch."

"Damn it, alright," Melissa's voice carries through the living room, sharp and pissed. "That's enough cha-chaing for now."

She waves everyone off the middle of the living room as Jacob and Janine immediately carry their friend over to the couch.

Janine and Jacob are on either side of (Y/N), who now has a pillow under her head and a cold peas bag on her forehead.

"It’s okay, you just—uh—really committed to that slide." Janine comforted her.

"Did the floor kiss me back?"

"Unfortunately."

"If I hear “criss cross” one more time, I’m going to criss cross my way into therapy. The floor was freshly waxed! (Y/N) went down like a white girl in a horror movie." Jacob rants.

Barbara storms off the dance floor towards Ava who is still dancing in the corner with zero self-awareness. She is sweaty, and her lips are smudged. This is not the Barbara Howard everyone knows, and certainly not the Barbara Howard they'd want to meet.

"I blame Jacob. She took over the mission and turned it into a 2016 flashmob. Tragic."

"I told you not to let her lead! The boy couldn’t direct traffic at a four-way stop!"

"Strike two."

Jacob is now close to crying.

"I am... So tired. My perfect Christmas plan has been hijacked. Nothing is where it should be. I cannot take this anymore. Everything has gone wrong."

"Up next, (Y/N) versus Melissa!" Janine declares with the energy of a game show host.

"Okay, I've figured it out!" she beams, turning to the camera like she’s cracked a government code. "Everyone's been forcing the two of them to go to each other—but why would I do that, when they basically jump at each other's throats when they're arguing?"

"This is the final round of charades," Janine explains, clipboard in hand. "Teams are tied. Ava has been disqualified for cheating—"

"I wasn't cheating!" Ava shouts from the couch, mid-sip of someone else's cider.

The entire group turns slowly to stare directly into the camera.

"Alright, Mr. Johnson, start the timer in 3, 2, 1—go!"

"What just happened?"

"Hey, it's polish, not Polish, (Y/N)," Jacob argues. "Tell her, Mel!"

"Eh... No. It's Polish. Capital, see?" Melissa flips the card around. "My fault."

"The world is doomed. Melissa just apologised. Well, not really. But she admitted it was her fault? Instead of punching (Y/N)? This is strike three. Barbara is about to snap."

Everyone is buzzing, from the alcohol? From the anger? From the exhaustion? Who knows.

Barbara clinks her wine glass, a strange calm washing over the dishevelled woman. “Everyone, settle down. It’s time for the Secret Santa exchange.”

"If I get socks from any of y'all's broke asses, I'm burning this house down." Ava groans.

(Y/N) looks at her with fear, "Please, don't."

They gather around the tree. The large stack of gifts standing beneath the tree with pride.

"I shall go first," Barbara states, picking out a small box from the pile, wrapped neatly with a golden bow on top. "This is for a person that I deeply admired, especially as I've seen her persevere today."

"This gift is for Ava Coleman."

Slowly, Ava reaches out for the box, shock filling her from the woman's words. She tore the wrapping off carefully, opening the box, and revealing a custom journal.

A maroon principal logbook, AC embossed in gold, and a sticky note reading: "You might not be the glue of this school, but you are the glitter. Keep shining."

"Barbara. You didn't."

"I did, Principal Coleman."

"Well, in that case. It's a good thing that I got you too, right?"

"Oh, dear."

Ava pulls out a large box from underneath the piles, almost dropping it a couple of times before setting it down in front of Barbara. "Heh. Open it!"

A plush robe that feels expensive, masks of various kinds, teas, serums, crystals, scented candles, and other relaxation items that felt almost all too much. And in the corner of a box is a pad of "Ava-Vouchers".

It read stubs like: One hour no nonsense from me, tea time, TEA time, no one is allowed to interrupt Barbara for this period, etc.

"Ava, this is truly too much." Barbara, for the first time today, smiled genuinely.

"No, Barbara. I am too much. This is the least I could do, because I know you stressed after havin' to handle all our crazy behinds!"

"That is true."

The rest of the gift giving had proceeded smoothly, the tension in the room finally dialing down.

Janine got Gregory who gifted him a white hoodie with her lipstick marks all over. Gregory wore it the whole night. The first day of school. The second day. And then the day after that till the day before laundry day.

Gregory got Gerald. Man to man, a gold watch that matched Barbara's. "I hope I can be a great husband like you someday."

O'shon received Ava's favourite perfume on a man from Gerald—data from Barbara, of course, and an advice to always stick by your woman, even when they've gone cray-cray.

He then took the weirdly shaped gift under the tree to give to Mr. Johnson, producing a taxidermy squirrel with a mustache and a monocle, affectionately named Mr. Davis and rightfully placed on his desk.

"Huh," Melissa lets out a dry chuckle. "So, you rigged this whole thing, didn't you?"

Ava and Barbara react violently to the accusatory finger being pointed their way, Ava looking offended while simultaneously trying to hold back a furious and distraught Barbara from murdering her best friend in cold blood during Christmas.

"What do you mean?" Barbara asks, voice dangerously low.

"Me and (Y/N) are the last two ones," she sticks her tongue to her cheek. "We got each other. What a coincidence, seeing as all y'all knew that we liked each other and decided to meddle like it's some middle school dance."

Barbara took a deep breath and raised a finger, "Yes, I have meddled—"

The redhead threw her hands up, "I knew it! Unbelievable, Barbara."

“Let me finish, woman. Or so help me, I will sin on the day of the birth of the Lord's son.”

"Honestly, Barbara for principal." Ava shrugs.

“I have meddled today more than I have ever wanted in my entire life. I climbed and fell off a ladder. I destroyed countless amounts of Christmas decor— may the Lord forgive me. I was coerced into ruining my perfectly non-sticky and non-hard sweet potato pie—" she glares at Ava. "—because you two are about as emotionally intelligent as this piece of tissue! You baboons can’t string together a sentence that wasn’t dipped in fear and sarcasm.”

Melissa and (Y/N) stared at Barbara, who has now gotten right in Melissa's face.

“Don’t you know I’ve blamed myself? Every time your heart breaks, mine does, too. I’m your best friend, Melissa. And I’ll be damned if I let you throw away the one person who actually looks at you like you hung the Christmas star just because you think beer and running away from your problems will solve it.”

“I have risked my dignity. My morals. My sanity. We all have!"

They stare at the exhausted faces of their co-workers, pity settling deep in their stomachs.

"It's a good thing that Ava actually took the initiative—which is more than I could say for either of you two—and gave me the push I needed to scream at your face to just kiss already! If that’s so wrong, so be it. But this is what friends do."

Melissa is teary-eyed, staring at Barbara in awe and respect. But through her tears, she had managed to let out a laugh. A genuine one.

Beside her, (Y/N) grinned at the two of them, clearly endeared at Barbara's speech.

"I love you, Barb." Melissa choked out.

"Have I finally gone insane in my pre-frontal cortex?" Barbara stares at the camera.

"But, seriously? Kiss already? We already did, ya gabortz!"

The scene cuts back to earlier that day, a few minutes of charged silence after their fight.

It was clear as day to (Y/N) that no words would satisfy the redhead. That the looks that she gave her—one that made her feel holy, something that she'd gladly worship, even if it meant her damnation. That would only light the flame further inside Melissa.

So, she did what came next to her clouded mind.

A soft and gentle hand behind her neck, just enough for Melissa to pull away if she had wanted to. Slow and deliberate, and a slight pause just as their lips were about to meet.

It wasn't hesitation, no. It was a silent promise that (Y/N) intended to keep.

And then, they kissed. Simple as that.

Stubborn as they may be, love finds a way.

Melissa kissed back with hunger and fear and want. She tasted wine and something terrifyingly real. Something she didn’t know how to name yet—but she craved it. She needed it. And when breath finally became necessary, she pulled back with a reluctant gasp.

"(Y/N)."

"Yes?"

"You don't know what you've just done."

"I don't. But I intend to find out."

A pause.

"Are you sure about this? 'Cause you break my heart, I'm breaking your knees, dolcezza."

"I'm damn sure, mi amore."

"Then kiss me again, you gabortz."

So, they kissed once. Twice. A couple more times. Who's counting, really?

"You... Kissed."

"Yep. Maybe we're not as stupid and emotionally unavailable as you thought we were."

"I guess not." Barbara says, her lips curling into a satisfied smile. "But why were you avoiding each other?"

"I guess we just... Got freaked out? But we did talk it out, and yeah." (Y/N) chuckles, "So, can we go back to giving our gifts? I really cannot wait to show you—"

"Slow your roll, dolcezza. I'm going first."

"But—"

Melissa's lips land on (Y/N), and it immediately shuts her up. "No buts."

[becausegraf]

Stolas is not Blitz's first rodeo - the case for Blitz' potential history as a de facto sex worker

(Okay, whoop de doo, here we go, if I sit on this essay any longer I won't get around to having dinner.)

Imagine someone you're into knows you've been struggling to make ends meet, and they approach you with this:

"Hey there, I've been thinking, how about we meet once a week to get giggity and have a good time, and in exchange I'll pay your rent, no strings attached."

Since 'this is hell' and not real life, also try to imagine what for example Moxxie or Millie's reaction might be to something like this. How would you envision this might go?

'What the FUCK' would be a completely sensible response. Even if someone agreed to this, you'd expect some reluctance, unease, nervousness, internal conflict... from most people.

And yet, this is basically what Stolas offered Blitz, and even in a hurry, his reaction wasn't at all shocked or confused. We see no hint of awkwardness in his behaviour around or during his monthly visits, not a lick of it.

There's a simple explanation for this: Blitz has done this before plenty of times.

He's quite literally 'used to it' and accepts this as a fairly routine type of agreement, without even questioning the concept of 'that horny head-in-the-clouds dork of a prince had a good time with me, and wants me to keep servicing him enough to offer me precisely what I want'. Stolas is far from unattractive to him, sure, 'why the fuck not'. Of all the ways this situation could have played out, this is one of the less difficult ones to deal with - satisfying people using his body is pretty much a 'shrug' to him, as opposed to having to come up with some kind of manipulation, or negotiating a different agreement, or keeping the grimoire against Stolas' will and earning himself the wrath of a Goetia.

The premise:

There is a long, long list of clues, many of them hiding in plain sight as 'haha crude jokes oh Blitz u so silly' moments, that Blitz has a history of providing sex as a service.

I also believe this is something most of the fandom already implicitly expects or wouldn't be surprised at all if it were confirmed in the show, but a lot of the implications are entirely invisible, and the effects on Blitz' behaviour are VERY easy to read as 'it's a comedy show, they write him this way because it's supposed to be crude and funny'.

Parts:

1) A hoard of hints

2) How this contributes to the massive disconnect between Blitz and Stolas' understanding of their arrangement

3) Some notes regarding the 'stage persona' of a performer, and recognition of achievements - a connection to his VA and co-writer

1) So, let's look at some contextual evidence first. This list is mostly constrained by my limited capacity to rattle off more examples on the fly, I'm sure you can easily find more of these everywhere you look.

- 'It's your night', and other such flat dismissals

This can be read as him just being cold and apathetic towards Stolas, as obviously 'Blitz is an unempathetic jerk-ass boyfriend'. However, if you read this through the lens of Blitz truly handling this arrangement pretty much like a professional, it makes perfect sense.

'We can do what you want, you're the client here buddy. This isn't about my preferences or wants, my job is to please you and not the other way around.'

- 'You know, I'm not really fussed when stuff like this happens' about Stolas rescheduling

Kind of a funky thing to say about your lover asking you if you have time to meet a bit earlier than originally planned, isn't it? Again, this makes sense if you read this arrangement as Stolas being like a client with a monthly appointment, and Blitz as the accommodating professional. The customer is king, if Stolas wants to move their appointment date (for something Blitz can do during his off-hours that aren't likely to conflict with other plans) then sure, it's not like he's going to charge a damn cancellation fee.

- 'But I thought you like it when I talk all dirty and fucky and shit'

The start of Apology Tour is a rough one, but it reveals a lot about the hidden reasons behind Blitz behaving the way he does with Stolas, and why we shouldn't take everything at face-value.

During their encounters, Blitz is in work-mode: h's very deliberate about how he comports himself and how to play to Stolas' tastes, for as far as he thinks he understands them. Stolas responded well to the aggressive stuff upon their first meeting as adults, and from Stolas' POV he had no real reason to clock that as *not actually really what Blitz' own personal preferred style is*. For as far as the owl knows, Blitz truly is unforcedly, naturally just 'like that' - scathing, dominant, rogueish, confident, bold and brash and adventurous in bed.

I think it's likely that Blitz probably *isn't*, maybe partially but not entirely, but trial and error quickly showed him Stolas is into that so... sure, he can accommodate. Whatever the fancy man wants of him, he can stay 'in-character' in that kind of exaggerated role pretty effortlessly.

Blitz glomming to MnM is a pretty big tip-off that he does have a sense of what true close intimacy is like and he absolutely does have a yearning for that. His 'I'm just here for the sex' bad boy attitude does not truly convey who he is as a person in his entirety.

The rowdy sexy assassin-cowboy-imp is the role he plays for Stolas, under the assumption that that is what he's into, and as a way to shield off his own much more vulnerable and conflicted real feelings. When it seems as if Stolas is no longer satisfied, he tries to 'get his shit together' and dial up the intensity, taking the whole sexually aggressive act to a level where it majorly crosses Stolas' boundaries.

Blitz at that point is just SO confused, so in turmoil with himself, and so terrified of losing the one point of connection he has to Stolas (which at that point really is pretty much their sexual compatibility plus a dollop of mutual je-ne-sais-quoi) he gets frustrated and just slips into a blind defensive rage.

(...yeah, that sure went over well, didn't it. 'God damnit Blitz', thus spoke the entire fandom.)

- Blitz' encounter with Chaz

This is a very interesting one to me. This set of scenes shifts very rapidly from one impression of Blitz to another, a triple pile-up of 'lol gotcha'.

'Oh ok , Blitz gets that it's kinda iffy to bang your friends' shitty ex' immediately gets subverted to

'...welp I guess his weird fixation is enough to disregard that entirely', and shortly after to yet another twist:

'-aaaaand welp, he took advantage of the situation without even blinking, because his instinct made him catch a whiff of something, and he took the first opportunity to poke into it a bit more even if said opportunity is banging the airhead randy shark'.

Blitz 100% uses his body like a tool. Any personal pleasure or bonuses that suit his whims he gets out of it is only part of his motivation. His played-for-laughs fling with Chaz is really much more functionally motivated: diving into bed with someone is just one of the several items on his list of things you can do to slip past someone's guard, shmooze them up, get up-close and even have them dead-asleep to create the perfect moment.

Watching this unfold, I personally very much did have that moment of 'oh dear that's a little concerning', that he made it look like he's 'just kind of a morally questionable ass', so casually making it seem like he was having some fun for his own sake when he was clearly going into this with the plan to slink out as soon as he had the shark where he wanted him.

This example also shows that Blitz clearly understands that sex and intimacy and trust are connected, but for him personally, that's pretty much optional (or even explicitly to be avoided).

- 'I've spent too much of my time, energy and holes on getting us set up', (so maybe don't get lame about this Mills)

File under 'haha Blitz so crude' and the easy interpretation of this as referring ONLY to Stolas. This likely concerns all the work he's done over the many years, starting long before the short time he's had the grimoire at his disposal at the time he says this.

He also does note himself as a) business savvy and b) sexy as fuck as the two major assets he has that he thinks of first in this scene. Blitz knows he's capable of capturing 'that kind' of attention, and he's clearly willing to make use of that.

- Finding out later in the series that he has a whole slew of exes that are still upset with him

This 'reveal' aligns with the general impressions we have of Blitz by that point pretty well. I wasn't surprised at all about that one - 'Oh, of course he does'.

Blitz dodges truly close personal intimacy, but he hardly avoids getting into situations that most people would experience as explicitly intimate, vulnerable and personal. His idea of 'boundaries' are very different from those of most people he deals with, and it's truly no wonder he ended up attracting quite a number of people to him only to ditch out once it became clear they were expecting some kind of romantic commitment.

With his natural charisma and easy charm and his *actual* innate kindness, combined with his well-practiced capacity to flirt and fluster and flatter, people that get to know him may very well be tempted rather quickly. They then easily misread his intentions when he's not one to say no if they make a pass and he's passingly interested. Of course, as soon as they let it show they're falling for him in earnest, *WHAM* goes the door, with no warning and often a sound 'fuck you' to seal the deal and ensure they don't come back.

'Why would he go and get intimate with me, if he didn't want to be with me?!'

The sheer confusion only adds to the offense at that point, and it's that lack of a sensible explanation that contributes to the pattern of people struggling to 'get over it'. We want to know 'why', we need the story to make sense, but Blitz does not give people that closure easily.

'Sorry I have a warped relationship with sex and it doesn't mean to me what it means to you as a baseline, AND I have massive hangups about people getting the feefees for me because everyone who does gets torn to shreds, so if we get giggity that's all you're gonna get from me' isn't really the kind of thing Blitz tells people ahead of time or after the fact.

- I may add more later or in a reblog, I could go on for hours honestly...

2) All this is far, far removed from Stolas' entire world

We all understand pretty well that our beloved well-intentioned dork of an owl has had a pretty sheltered existence (albeit frought with its own problems), and has *very* little experience in the realm of actual sexual activities.

If someone more worldly were to encounter Blitz and regularly interact with him in the way Stolas does, I think it would very quickly begin to raise questions.

You know, if someone so consistently treated your 'sexy date nights' the way Blitz does, I think quite a few of us would start to catch on that maybe he's got some, eh, 'circumstances' that inform his behaviour. Stolas however has nothing to go off off - Blitz is the experienced one, and he certainly acts like everything they do is pretty par for the course. Blitz is the role model, the example Stolas learns from about 'how things work' and what the rules are.

The issue is that Stolas is trying to learn how to have a fulfilling intimate relationship with someone, while Blitz is, in some fashion, actually trying (rather frustratedly at times) to teach him the code of conduct around just-business sex work. Over and over and over we see Blitz try to remind him of these rules, and from our POV, this comes across as Blitz being kind of cruel and mean because he's bluntly brushing off every earnest attempt Stolas makes to forge a connection.

Stolas doesn't understand what's going on under the surface, and for the most part, *neither do we as the audience*. We're here for the fluffy love story, and the hilarious impish shenanigans of our kind-of-a-dick of a protagonist. *Neither we as the audience nor Stolas take Blitz' behaviour and push-back seriously* as we don't get to explicitly view things through his eyes with the full understanding of what the world works like for him. He's either acting like a douche, or being erratic and hilarious, all just meaningless funny bullshit - right up until the moment where he snaps and suddenly it's no longer charming.

Stolas hapless persistence with trying to move past these 'walls', as he truly does desire something very different, eventually leads to Blitz giving up on getting him to cut it out, and it really seems as if he desperately tries to interpret he situation as an unruly spoiled but harmless client getting way too into the 'playing boyfriends' roleplay.

After all, what else could it *possibly* be? Love? Ha ha ha fuck you, of course not. What kind of asshole would even suggest that, that's just hurtful, inconsiderate and stupid - don't play with his feelings like that, it's JUST BUSINESS and Blitz needs to keep his head on straight. He's got a job to do and if he fucks this up and lets himself get attached and it all gets too real holy fucking sh- just drop the sky on him while you're at it, why don't you.

NO.

3) There are some themes here, as per the person who plays a big role in shaping Blitz' character

As 'the sassy crass youtube dude' in reputation I wouldn't be surprised if Brandon Rogers himself might be kinda familiar with the effect of people mistaking your 'on stage persona' for who you really are. People at times approach performers like him under the assumption they're always 'like that', and they tailor their behaviour according to that, too, instead of taking a step back and treating them like a regular person with regular boundaries.

At some point Brandon also said one of the things he relates to the most with Blitz is how much it irks him when people low key look down on what he's achieved.

'Nobody just handed him stuff, he and the team put in a fuckton of hard work into getting to where they are now'

This echoes Blitz' derision towards Fizz as someone who seems as if he's being given privileges, resources and support on a silver platter, just for existing as the person Asmodeus has a special interest in.

I will let that lead into my concluding comment:

I'm pretty damn sure we don't officially know the first damn thing yet about everything Blitz has put himself through to make it out of his twenties alive, just for starters, and to then become successful and reliable enough to provide a stable home for Loona and get his business off the ground.

[ssatorussuguru]

tim drake & dick grayson fanfic recs for the lovely @grxceblqckthxrn !! some of these she showed me but im adding them in case anyone else who comes across this hasnt read them yet + i'll link my other lists below too (steph and dick so far)

(as usual, these will be mostlyyy focused on tim and dick, but some of them are so good i had to include even tho there are other relationships)

only you will have stars that laugh - Tim's alone on Christmas Eve. Dick finds out, and fixes it.

honeymuscles - Second chances are uncommon, sure. But Dick built his whole life on second chances.

call this my funeral - Dick breaks into Arkham to kill the Joker. He won't let anyone stop him—not some measly defense systems, not his baby brother, and not this mercenary who seems to be trying to break the Joker out.

hisstamine - Dick gets bitten by a venomous snake. Tim pretends to know exactly what to do.

brothers have the worst timing - Tim crashes Dick and Helena’s ill-advised one-night stand; this is awkward for everyone involved.

timmy the explorer - Tim was on a very important and grandiose mission. A mission to get a hug from Dick Grayson.

streaks - Months after Dick's return from Spyral, Tim has revelations that were a long time coming. In which the author uses Snapchat streaks for Bat purposes, there are tea parties, and more tears appear than expected.

head bonk - After he’s injured while home alone, Tim is the only one not worried about his personal well-being. (He has a number of other things to worry about instead.)

operation flight failure (plan #15) - Tim is going to meet Dick Grayson today. No matter what. And he's going to make him his big brother. But that'll come later.

an ode to the passage of time - when you don't feel it - Dick doesn't know when his brothers got so close, considering how last week the two almost came to blows over a missing batarang, but it's seeming a little... obsessive. (time loop!!)

the center cannot hold - Every so often, it all catches up with him.

five times dick was tim's safety net and one time tim was his - Dick has always been there for Tim, even before they knew each other.

I'd fly far away from here - “Tim, you’re in a strange city you don’t live in, staying with a person your dad barely knows. He’s probably worried sick.”

aite - Dick is high on morphine and says some things Tim doesn't think he meant to. Using bedrest as an excuse, he pries.

the irony - There's some cruel, bitter irony in the fact that Tim, at eighteen, is back to stalking Dick to check on his health and well-being.

it was not your fault, but mine - Dick gets caught and tortured. Tim finds him. Dick thinks he doesn't care enough to help him. Tim, frankly, doesn't care what Dick thinks.

steph dick

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

If they took all the titles away what then? In going no contact H hasn’t got the inside track to sell, but we will still get the not so subtle attacks particularly on the Wales’ , we will still get the faux trips by The One Formally known as Prince, and the journalist will follow. Maybe the A list doors will slam shut, but that’s happened anyway. Financially he is going to have to do something but what? I thought saying the book advance was heavily exaggerated was interesting, but then it sold well so with a lower advance he should have had more coming in from the actual sales, though the Spanish leak will have cost him big. I think he was banking on winning this case not only for security but also as a way to claim back all the money he spent on security since he left, and aiming for that IPP status to cover future security costs.

With all these court cases going through the British legal system Harry has been gambling on winning and getting payouts on who he is, and this time rather than attacking the privately owned press he has gone for the government, he was never going to win in court or the court of public opinion.

We already know he's not in - he tells us every time he complains that Charles and William don't answer his phone calls. And what that does, even though he doesn't realize it, is prove he has no information.

Meaning that instead of being the inside man with hot gossip and behind-the-scenes details about what's really happening in King Charles's monarchy, Harry is the aging high school quarterback stuck in his high school glory days; all of his stories are old and irrelevant.

In other words, all Harry can tell us about are things that happened over five years ago. No one cares about that. We want info on the things that are happening *right* now.

Taking the titles away is a physical reminder of how excluded and how far away he is from the current monarchy and the current activities. It makes it harder for Harry to sell himself. Yes, he'll still sell books because he's Diana's son and because he was in the monarchy for 35 years, but it won't be a blockbuster and it won't actually secure any financial safety or stability. It'll be just another celebrity memoir that mostly ends up in the bargain bin to be pulped.

Also publishing industry insider gossip is that Harry's book didn't even sell enough to make the advance so the fact that Harry's saying it was successful means they either jiggered the numbers so it looked successful or they told him a porkie pie of a lie.

[magicluckystars]

would i date my ikemen favourites in real life?

I saw a post a WHILE ago that talked about the idea of their favorite characters meeting their parents, and I was procrastinating on work really bored so I decided to do a spin-off of that!! why not?

CW: crack, spoilers for: kenshin's route, ikerev prologue, and some of jonah's route, long post,

I am still a beginner writer so characters may be inaccurate/ooc! constructive feedback and reblogs help <3

---

Chevalier (Ikemen Prince)

-I would have to tell him to tone down the ice prince behaviour. how are you almost 30 and still calling yourself "the brutal beast" 😭

-he's really smart so we won't have an issue with that

-we don't have a lot of common interests though

-the "show me your worth" and "when someone is no longer of use, that's that" is a major turn-off

-he's so tall?? +1 for that

final rating: 3.5/10 okay guy with questionable morals, i wouldn't date him

William (Ikemen Villians)

-again, really tall

-we won't have many issues, this man knows how to talk to people

-he can play piano too?! +2

-decent guy overall, so higher than chev

-final rating: 6/10 we could be friends, but he's not my type

Harrison (Ikemen Villians)

-I don't even have to mention the height, do I...

-the "am i lying or am I telling the truth?" thing would probably get old fast

-but he is the most normal (i mean, as normal as you can get in ikevil) out of all the boys

-he is pretty fun so the lying part doesn't matter

-final rating: 8/10 good partner

Vincent (Ikemen vampire)

-he deserves the world.

-I love sunflowers and you're telling me you PAINT THEM??

-he's friendly and a good person so we would get along fine

-that said he also doesn't have many strong opinions so that would be a bit frustrating and I also cant draw for the life of me

-brush is now my child. no he doesn't get a say in this.

-vincent can be mischevious sometimes though iirc so that's good

-final rating: 5/10 could be friends, but not really good friends

Kenshin (Ikemen Sengoku)

-i'm starting to notice a pattern in this list with the blondies with lore...

-i don't know how we'd even get close in the first place, considering I don't like conflict (and this man loves fighting)

-but he's considerate of MC's emotions in several routes so that's good

-YOU HAVE BUNNIES?? MULTIPLE OF THEM?? marry me rn /j

-he also doesn't seem like the person to like loud people but then again he lives with Yuki and Shingen (and they're chaotic in and of themselves)

-one thing i would definitely have an issue with is when he tries to keep the MC "all to himself" by KIDNAPPING HER. oh absolutely not.

-final rating: 3/10 potentially friends, but would NOT date him

Hideyoshi (Ikemen Sengoku)

-don't like the hostility towards MC in the beginning stages but he gets better towards her so it's fine

-i don't know how i feel about his many female admirers

-he's really kind though and pays attention to details (which I do not) so that's a plus

-i can respect his dedication to nobunaga

-the fact he has a MONKEY as a pet is adorable.

-he's also very justice-aligned, so thats also a plus

-don't really have much to say other than he's a good guy 👍

-final rating 6/10 we could be friends :)

Jonah (Ikemen Revolution)

-i'm sorry trying to arrest the MC as soon as she falls into Cradle is a big no

-he can be super nice but at the same time super insensitive to other people and I don't think I can get past that

-also not a big fan of expensive gifts, especially when we just met

-he likes sweets though and so do I so he at least has one redeeming quality

-not much other things to say here.

-final rating 2/10 i don't see how we would even click in the first place

---

gonna end it off here cause i wanna get it out of my drafts and also to avoid it getting too long

but anyways thanks for reading! if you decide to try this please tag me I wanna read it!

bye for now and see you later <33

[moonlit-tulip]

For a list-by-someone-else I've found helpful as inspiration in the past, I'd point you at https://milan.cvitkovic.net/writing/things_youre_allowed_to_do/; not everything there is specifically about spending money, but a lot of it is, and it points at a lot of good options which are probably not obvious to most people.

For a more personal list of things I've found worthwhile to spend money on for quality-of-life purposes:

Subscriptions to useful online services, including Kagi for search, MEGA Pro for general-purpose cloud-file-storage with sync functionality, and Obsidian Sync for narrower-but-with-nicer-UI cross-device-synced notetaking.

Custom-print clothing and mousepads and wall-art and so forth for my physical environment, and custom icons and banners and so forth with which to decorate my web-presence, to increase my baseline levels of aesthetic fulfillment. Art commissions, or subscriptions to paid high-quality AI-art tools like Midjourney, on the backend to produce the images to be printed-or-used-online.

Good-quality hardware in places where I used to use cheaper-and-lower-quality stuff: nice boots, a nice keyboard, a nice set of bowls to eat from, et cetera. For figuring out what to get, I've found The Wirecutter and Consumer Reports to both be pretty good as quick summaries of products-which-will-probably-be-at-least-reasonably-nice in a given field; they're not a substitute for deep ten-hour research-dives into the opinions of enthusiast communities, but they've worked a lot better for me, in cases where I don't feel like doing the full research-dive, than e.g. plain searching-by-Amazon-reviews has. (Consumer Reports is paid-subscription-gated; I find it to yield enough useful information that it would be worth the cost, if I needed to pay the cost; but, also, at least if you're in the US (I don't know about patterns elsewhere) there's a decent chance your local public library offers free access via their website. All three of the library systems I've belonged to throughout my life so far have done so.)

A cheap one-time cost, won't be a good long-run money-sink, but: side-cut can openers (example) are much nicer than the top-cut ones I grew up with. They cut the top off the can in such a way as to leave it (a) free of sharp edges and (b) shaped in such a way as to be easily re-placed on top of the can as a decently-effectively-sealing lid, while also (c) not getting their cutting-blades dirty with can-contents and thus saving on cleaning-effort. If you don't already have one, I recommend getting one.

When uncertain about whether I'll like a given good or service, erring on the side of "try it out and see how I like it" rather than erring on the side of "don't spend money on things I'm not confident will pay off"; it's one of those things I was always very hesitant to do, when I had less money, but has been pretty solidly good-for-me since I acquired more money and got into the habit, because not-too-rarely it turns out that I do like a given thing a bunch.

Can anyone recommend quality of life boosters one might spend on?

All my hobbies are far more time intensive than money intensive so I don't actually have much of a way to go through money, and no clear ideas for how to treat myself.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

I'm in a dodgy hotel with bad wifi and somewhat bored, so I thought I'd come up with a list of things that I wish I could get from GMMTV but I know I won't.

A reveal towards the end of a series that two friends of the main couple have been dating the whole time (think Warm/Cop from Perfect 10 Liners or Mick/Beer from We Are).

Fourth and Gemini in something more serious like Moonlight Chicken.

POLY. DAMMIT.

Lift and Papang playing father and son. (Look at their beautiful faces!). And let them both have romances.

Older queer romance as the main storyline - and when I say older I mean actual 40+ and not a 'second chance at love because first love left/died' but just two people who never really found their person meeting later in life and clicking.

Dance themed but with actors/actresses who can actually dance - and preferably contemporary dance (I don't know if you realise how homoerotic that can be) but it could also be traditional Thai dancing (rather than tpop/idol style).

Short-haired/butch Sapphics.

Produce Jeab's swansong series.

A character/storyline which makes AMPLE use of Phuwin's Mandarin and English (or any other actor proficient in other languages) - shows include thai subtitles for northern dialects so why not more than the usual token foreign language.

In fact, I'll go further to say: Utilise the different languages of the foreign actors who play supporting roles rather than make them speak English and try to fob them off as American. If they're Italian, let them speak Italien. If they're Dutch let them speak Dutch. Etc.

MIX-UP BRANDED PAIRS. Book/Drake. Fluke Nattanon/Inn. Or Fluke Nattanon/Ohm Thipakorn. Jimmy/Mix. (You see my vision). Satang/Title. Victor/Great. JOONG/OHM PAWAT. (They might be TOO powerful). Etc, etc etc.

Take Max from Be My Favourite as a foundation for a lead character for Aou.

GIVE PEPPER A FAEN.

Nanon and Mark Pakin leading a bl. Look I'd even take a bromance if Nanon doesn't want to do bl. Better still if Nanon is in drag/cross-dresses/is a trans woman. This must be serious though. Not played for laughs. (I'm thinking an aged up version of the sides in About Youth).

MORE POSITIVE ASEXUAL REP.

DEAR GOD let AJ and JJ lead a show together. Maybe a comedy bl/het with either mistaken identity or deliberate confusion because they're pretending to be one person but fall in love with different people/genders.

Jus Justina in another show. Preferably leading. (She screenwrites and directs, so might not act again).

More Ployphach…maybe with Jan in a GL if she'll do one.

Peaceful Property Our Skyy 3 edition with their friends-to lovers story set 6 months after the end of the show.

An unhinged female ensemble show - I don't care if it's romance or not, I want badass women working together or in support of each other other. Maybe with JoJo directing.

POPPY.

Please and thank you 🙏🏽

[aphrosheir]

>>> Red Hair, Red Wine, Red Handed Pt. 2 <<<

[A/N: Part 2 of this madness. I hope y'all are still following the plot??? Uhm... okay, bye!]

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

"Barb," Ava calls out from the doorframe of the kindergarten teacher's room like a perp. "Barbara."

"Ava, what are you doing?" Barbara lets out a long suffering sigh. The veteran teacher has been in Abbott for years, and she is one hairfall away from losing it. "If you need to talk to me, be a proper woman and sit."

"But Barbara, this is an important mission. High stakes! Classified."

"Lord, you know that I am not your greatest soldier."

"Give me strength."

"Ava. Sit down."

And just like that, Ava is sitting on—who's chair is this? Lacey Hope, the tag reads—because everyone listens when Barbara Howard tells them to sit down.

"You know, Barbara scares me. Just a little bit."

"Now, what is it that you so desperately needed me on a Friday afternoon after the kids have all gone and rested, mere days before the birth of our Lord and saviour?"

"(Y/N) and Melissa."

"No."

"But they're perfect for each other, Barb!"

"I know!"

"So, you're in?"

"I—what even is your plan?"

Ava wiggles her eyebrows, "I knew you'd come around!"

"I didn't say—"

"So, Christmas romance. What's the equivalent of locking two people together in a room until they confess their feelings?"

Barbara’s pointed look was lethal, but Ava—like all great heroes—persevered.

"Mistletoe. Barb, it's literally the most classic, most romantic, most lovey-dovey shit ever—Barbara, you cannot say no to this."

"It is not right to meddle with our friends' lives like this."

"Look, Barbara. I am not getting enough sleep because (Y/N) won't stop rambling about how Melissa's hair looks like a soft fire or how she would combust if she didn't kiss her yet. Tell me, are you not tired of their abuse on us?"

"Abuse?" Barbara's tone was a double deadpan at this point, listening to the antics of her boss—technically—and wondering how her life had let to this.

"I have lived my life by the word of the Lord, I do not know how I've come to this."

"Yes, abuse! Have you seen the bags under my eyes, Barb? I know, because I can see yours too."

Barbara gasped, covering her perfect face with her hands, and scandalised that Ava would say such a thing. "How dare you?"

"But... It is quite true. Melissa has been pestering me about the perfect gift for (Y/N) for how many nights now," she muttered.

Barbara pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering something about patience being a virtue.

"But—I am not doing this."

"You know," Ava went on, undeterred, "if the Virgin Mary had waited as long as those two have, Jesus would’ve been born in July."

"Ava!"

"I'm just saying."

A long silence settled between them. Barbara folded her arms. Ava leaned back in Lacey Hope's chair like it was a recliner at a stakeout. Finally, with a tired sigh that sounded like the last gasp of her restraint, Barbara spoke:

"Fine. But if we’re going to meddle, we’re doing it with grace, decorum, and discretion."

Ava grinned, already pulling out her phone. "So… Operation Kiss-mas is a go?"

Barbara closed her eyes. "Lord, forgive me for I am about to sin in the name of love."

"I cannot believe that I am doing this."

"Oh, you betta' believe it, sister!"

"Wow, (Y/N)! Your house is gorgeous. This looks straight out of my 'Future Home if I Got Out of Bankruptcy' Pinterest Board." Janine exclaims excitedly as (Y/N) greeted them, now donning an oddly familiar "Silent Night, Violent Night" sweater over her dress.

"Ha!" Ava belly laughs at Janine's quip.

The crew stares at the cameras.

"I love how you kids still have that classic sense of humour. Keep it up, Janine, you might be able to make my good list next year."

"It wasn't... It wasn't a joke—"

"Now, are you all ready for a night of love?" Ava enthusiastically exclaimed, arms outstretched.

"—for our darling boy, Jesus Christ! Yes, that is right, praise His name, Hallelujah." Barbara cut in, as graceful as ever.

The crew cheered with a few stray "Merry Christmases" and a very enthusiastic "Happy Holidays" from Jacob filling the house.

"Ava, remember. Grace, decorum, and discretion."

Janine thanked the Lord that everyone agreed to come at the same time—save for Melissa, seeing as how the redhead was sitting at the couch like a grumpy little gnome as she stared at her phone like it killed her family.

If the time change was or wasn't caused by Ava 'convincing' everyone to make their lives easier and totally not to get Melissa and (Y/N) alone for that slowburn action, only the Lord knows.

"Oh, hi, Melissa!" Janine gave her a small wave. "How's the food?"

The deathly glare that Melissa sent her way was enough of an answer for her and—the rest of the crew—to maybe avoid Melissa until she gets a few more glasses of beer into her system.

"I mean..." Janine chuckled nervously, eyes darting to the side. "Melissa's usually grrr and rawr! I know that. We all know that. But, now it's like RAHHHH!"

"And (Y/N) hasn't even complimented my Slyther-claw sweaters with our initials! I just—I hope they're alright. Like, you know... I want to see the New Year, guys."

"Merry Christmas, y'all! Now, go upstairs and pick out your own rooms, especially if you are planning to stay. Find a room buddy and bunker up. After that, go wild! I'm lookin' at you, Jacob, my Mistle-bro!"

"Yeah, (Y/N) and I are tight. We're mistle-bros in this ho-ho-ho!"

"Jacob? Jacob, where are you?! The ladder is shaking!"

"Oh no, I'm coming, Janine!"

"Hey, (Y/N). Where can we put our food?"

"Right," (Y/N)'s uncharacteristic dull eyes lit up. "Y'all can put it somewhere on the dining table. I cannot wait to see what you've cooked up, Mr. Eddie-ble!"

"Please do not call me that."

But it was too late as Jacob gave a high-five to (Y/N).

Janine, on the other hand, had already led the group to the kitchen, Gregory being stuck beside a rambling Jacob.

"She’s loud. Social. Talks to everyone. But no one’s been here until now. That’s... something."

Jacob chimed in from Gregory's side, eyes frantically shooting from one place to another, "You know, this house gives strong ‘refined vintage with a twist of eccentric aunt’ energy. All this woodwork? Totally Craftsman. Those gold drawer handles? French provincial. And these trinkets? A curated chaos—it's like an antique shop got organized by colour theory!"

Gregory shoots the camera a 'please kill me' look.

"So, we just take any room here?" Janine asked, exploring the quaint yet surprisingly large house.

It housed 5 rooms upstairs and an attic turned library on the third floor. The halls seemed to stretch far and wide for Janine, who was leading the group, ever the over-excited camp counsellor.

"Yeah! My room is the farthest to the right. Nope, not that right, my right! Nope, still the wrong way—Janine, my right and your right are the same!"

Just then, Gregory put a hand on top of Janine's shoulders gently and quietly, turning her to the correct direction.

"Oh—uh, that one. Right. Thank you, (Y/N)!" She waved down to the woman downstairs before gingerly turning to her boyfriend. "And, thank you, Gregory."

"Move it along, lovebirds! I am trying to get my holiday glee awn," Mr. Johnson yelled, hauling his bag over his shoulder, pushing past the youngins in front of him.

"So..." Ava started, walking up beside Barbara who was taking in the kitchen; fluffing up a wreath, wiping a stray dust particle off the table, moving around a red-lipstick stain on a mug that ironically states (Y/N)'s mug—anything to keep Ava from talking to her. But alas... "Operation Jingle Smash is a go?"

"I thought it was Operation Season of Love? You know what, I still do not give a hoot about the name. Ava, what exactly is your plan now?"

"Well, for Operation Ho Ho Homoerotic Tension—" Barbara glares. "No? Okay. But, I suggest we just place a mistletoe somewhere they might frequent and lead them there. Easy peasy, pussy squeezy, right?"

"I—you are testing me right now."

Ava winks, "And you are passing, baby."

"But, well. That is quite easy. I suggest we start here, at the kitchen. We could call Melissa and (Y/N) to explain the dishes they've made? Now, wouldn't that be a nice bonding moment for them, a nice build up before they—you know."

"Kiss, Barbara? You can say kiss, can't you," Ava deadpans. "But, honestly, Barb. I don't think that's gonna work."

"Oh, come on. It'll be nice, Ava. Trust me." Barbara smiles, "Well look at me scheming all up on here, for Operation Proper Pairing."

"Still needs work."

"(Y/N)! Melissa!" Barbara calls out to the two women. (Y/N) turning her head from the couch as Melissa walks out of the right wing of the second floor, looking annoyed as she was in the middle of curling her hair.

"What'd'ya need, Barb," Melissa asks, clearly annoyed at the interruption of her beauty routine.

"Well, I was just wondering—" she clasped her hands together, in the usual Barbara Howard manner, "If our lovely cooks could explain the menu for tonight, seeing as how hard the two of you have worked on these—"

"Yeah, no. Pass, Barbs."

(Y/N) looked at Barbara, serious and unbreaking. "Barb. As much as I wish I could, but... I don't know if I can ever tell my trauma of the mashed potatoes without violently crying and throwing up. I'm sorry, Barb."

"I—"

"Told you, it wouldn't work."

"Well, what are we supposed to do now?"

"Give me your hand."

"What?"

Ava shot her a look. "Just trust me."

And just as Barbara's perfectly manicured nails hesitantly landed on top of Ava's, the woman grasped it so tight, Barbara couldn't move even as she saw that the trajectory of her hand was about to land on top of her precious sweet potato pie. "Ava!"

"Help, Barbara's hand is stuck on her hard and sticky sweet potato pie!"

"AVA!"

"How dare she call my sweet potato pie hard and sticky?"

"Was I wrong?"

"Stop being dramatic, Barb. Whatever youse plannin', I ain't fallin' for it." Melissa retorted, retreating up to her bedroom.

"I told you, it would not work. What a waste of a good p—Ava. Ava. I can't get my hand out, Ava."

"Was I wrong though?" Ava preached. "It took us a whole hour to wash that sweet potato pie off her hands."

"My nails smell of it."

"Could've been worse. It could've been smelling like Jacob's vegan nachos that looks like it came out of Santa's chimney. Seriously, how and why would you make nachos vegan?"

"So, 3 more hours to go and still no kiss." Ava sighs, lathering Barbara's hands in (Y/N)'s almost empty handsoap that she could've sworn she just replaced before they had arrived.

"It's... Alright. It was our first attempt, is all. Warm-up, correct?"

"Of course."

As the afternoon progressed, neat little garlands hung from (Y/N)'s high wooden ceilings, lights twinkling and up to safety code—according to O'shon. Now was the time for them to litter the whole house with mistletoes.

The couch where Melissa would frequent, watching the game that currently played on the TV. Beneath the tall pine tree that brought the whole room to life. Above the fireplace where pictures of (Y/N) in her years in Abbott had been kept.

Just a couple.

"Hey, did you move the stockings here?" Gregory asked, the askew decorations making his brain tick.

"No, but did you take off the star? I know it looks old but it's an important part of Christmas." Janine's voice grew in pitch, her once perfect makeup now had sweat tracks running through her forehead.

"I didn't," he said flatly.

Just then, Jacob came running in, "Oh my God, you guys. The little elf garlands I made of us? Hung it near the TV? Completely destroyed. Donezo. Gone. My elf even lost its head..."

Gregory let out a shrug, "Well... That one wasn't too bad."

"I don't know what's happening and I'm scared. What if it's Krampus, getting back at us for all the times we've been bad this year? Oh no, I knew that almond milk was bad but I kept still bought them. I love the film it develops, I'm sorry!"

"Okay, let's not jump into... Improbable conclusions, alright?"

"I don't want to live in a basket!" Jacob shrieks.

Gregory slaps him across the face, "You're not!"

"Gregory!" Janine exclaims.

"I am so sorry, Jacob. I don't know what came over me."

"No, it's fine. You're right. I've been a good boy. I ate my veggies. I slept before my bed time," Jacob stated with conviction.

"That's not..."

"Whatever happened here," Janine gestured to their ruined decorations, "We have to figure out who did it and put an end to—"

Thud.

"Oh no, Krampus is here to take me!"

"Hey, what is going on here?"

"—I told you, put the ladder to the left! Ava, you are the principal, but I am well sure that my kindergarteners would be able to take my instructions better than you because they actually know where their left and right is!"

"Damn, Barb. I thought you were all about grace, decorum, and discretion?" Ava mutters as she helps the woman stand.

"This is grace," Barbara gestures to herself. Her hair is sticking out in a bunch of directions, beige blouse untucked and the matching brown pants wrinkled.

Janine steps forward, staring at the carnage of tinsel and baubles. "What have you been doing in here?"

"We were smuggling mistletoes to gift Santa's elves for being good helpers this year," Barbara answers incredulously. "What does it look like to you, Janine?"

Jacob leans towards Gregory, "Uhm... I'm still scared. But I think it's not of Krampus anymore."

"Ava, I have been teaching for well over 20 years. I am not about to lose my sanity over two over-grown, emotionally impaired babies who thinks they'll explode if they show an ounce of emotion and a God-forsaken mistletoe!"

The growl she let out at the last part sent a shockwave through the hallway, making the teachers take a very mindful step back.

"I hope Gerald doesn't arrive any time soon. He might kill me for breaking his wife."

"So..." Ava takes a hesitant step forward, quickly snatching the poor mistletoe from Barbara's hand as if she's taking a bone from a rabid dog. "I say, let's stop this and let them be, maybe?"

"No."

Janine could swear that she saw smoke curl from her nostrils and a dangerous red flare pass her eye.

"We're going to finish Operation All I Want for Christmas is for These Idiots to Kiss even if it kills us."

"Us?"

"Yes, us. Unless you want what happened to your little elf counterpart to happen to you too, Jacob."

"For years, I have watched Melissa Schemmenti chase after men who couldn’t tell her love from drywall—getting her heart trampled on like church flyers at a state fair. But not this time. This time, she has a devoted woman—determined, loving, borderline feral—and she’s pushing her away!"

"I have not meddled once. Not once. But this time, Schemmenti? I am onto your mess. I am in your mess. I am practically neck-deep in your emotional debris."

As Jacob had hung up his elf once again—the head held up by glue and prayers—he turned to a calmer Barbara, "I did notice them avoiding each other."

"Don't get me started when they practically burn a hole through the other's head when staring at then when they know the other wasn't looking," Gregory said, crossing his arms.

"Honestly," Janine added, frowning, "I haven't seen them talk to each other this whole day..."

"Children—when you have known Melissa Schemmenti for as long as I have, you'd know that that woman is practically a flammable material."

Janine nodded, "And (Y/N) is like a matchstick to her. She eats confrontation for breakfast."

"I wonder what happened to them. Before Melissa arrived, (Y/N) and I were just talking about her wanting to impress Mel."

"So... Melissa and I kind of got into a fight earlier."

[qvert]

For the sake of brevity (what brevity who am I kidding) I'll bundle up the honorary mentions:

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon

This one is a bit of a staple so I won't get into it too much - if you've never heard of it though do go look it up!

Basically Swords, Dragons, Magic and the Queen who’s only job is to continue her bloodline and her (sort of double agent) lady in waiting who is secretly there to protect her

Also there's a prequel that's also very gay

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing - Hank Green

Once again not a romance at the center but the Story is really fucking cool and the protagonist is a queer woman

Set in modern day New York around the sudden appearance of of a handful of ten-foot-tall samurai-esque alien statues all over the world and the following mysteries

A story about humanity in the face of uncertainty and social media but in an optimistic way (the book is from 2018)

Tipping the Velvet - Sarah Waters

Its about Lesbians in late 19th-century England - this is probably the most cultured book on this list :D

Everything Leads to You - Nina LaCour

Its uh... Its a modern YA romance set in Hollywood between a set designer and a debut actress that kicks off because of a sort of scavenger hunt

Look its interesting, its gay but its a YA romance you kind of know what you're getting - definitely does not compare with the first books on this list

I was recently asked for Queer Book Recommendations so buckle up this is going to be a LONG one: It turned out too long so im breaking it up in several posts oops

Also while I cant rate them these are in order of preference/obsession.

The locked Tomb Series - Tamsyn Muir

Gideon the Ninth - Harrow the Ninth - Nona the Ninth - (Alecto the Ninth)

Premise: There is NOTHING I can say that will not sound absolutely INSANE but if you give it a try it will change your life forever

Soooort of Bodyguard/Goth-Nun-Princess-idk

The official thing on the book says ‘Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!’

Or as a Tumblr Quote ’Galaxy’s least serious person and committed butch Lesbian has to help horrible ferret-woman-witch survive world’s most goth job-interview and judges all these nerds in her head for ever applying’ 

And the worst thing is it all makes perfect sense in context.

Characters: Butch Lesbian Bodyguard with a great sword and a stach of porn magazines and a little wet-to-the-bone twink goth nun that doesn’t believe in sleep, eating or other bodily needs. Both are deeeeeply traumatised but make up for it in memes :D

Gideon-‘Please keep insulting me because all I have ever wanted was your attention’

Harrow-‘I would rather get a diy lobotomy than bear the mere thought of loosing you and I will spontaneously go up in flame before ever saying that out loud’

Overview: They to this day have not ended up together but literally any sentence in these three books is (to cosmic proportions) gayer than gay sex could ever be

Three Books so far - Waiting on the 4th

Personal Thoughts: Again - the most insane thing you’ll ever read wile being FUNNY AF - do try the audiobook the reader is AMAZING

[trappedinafantasy37]

"Weeeh! I wanna recruit Minthara on a good playthrough! Weeeh! I don't like the ultimatum and want to keep both Minthara and Halsin! Weeeh! I wanna make Minthara good! Weeeh! I don't want Minthara to break up with me!" Minthara deserves more content but none of these things are at all what she needs or deserves. No, these are all things that you want for yourself, but do absolutely nothing for her. This is one of the biggest L's in the game and it will forever enrage me because I just know it will never happen.

Minthara deserves to confront Orin like all the other companions do with their abusers. She deserves to scream and yell at Orin. She deserves to cut at her the same way Orin did, make her bleed and scream in pain. Minthara deserves to torture Orin, just as she did her in the mind flayer colony. Minthara deserves the right to roll up to the Temple of Bhaal and beat the shit out of Orin with her bare hands. Leave Orin begging for mercy in which Minthara will not even give her a drop. To slam Orin down on that altar and slice her throat, offer her up as a sacrifice to the father she is so blindly devoted to.

And yes, Minthara would be afraid. She would be TERRIFIED. Despite how strong and powerful Minthara is, she is also the only one afraid of Orin. Unlike Ketheric, or Gortash, or Sarevok, she is the only one who fully acknowledges just how dangerous Orin actually is and does not underestimate her. She will walk down into that temple, intending to duel Orin with a massive disadvantage because she is terrified.

Minthara choked when seeing Orin again in the mind flayer colony. She choked when seeing Orin as an imposter, throwing her deep into the ocean of paranoia and fear. And she is so entrenched in paranoia that it actually becomes palpable to everyone around her, even you. She describes herself as paranoid, but this is the first that you actually see how paranoid she is. And she choked again when Orin kidnapped someone in camp, making her feel inadequate, making a mockery of her for being unable to protect one of her own. And every day that passes, the more and more likely that the victim is going to die and she has doubts on their survival.

At every possible avenue in which Minthara could have done something or said something about Orin, she froze in place with fear. But she's had enough. She cannot be afraid of Orin forever and she doesn't want to be. One way or another, Orin has to die and she wants to get over that fear. She needs to know that Orin is dead, for herself.

This would also make the alurlssrin confession all the more impactful. She wants to tell you that she loves you in the best way that she can because of the very high likelihood that she will never have another chance to do so. She would beg you to come with her as you give her the courage. She has the courage to face her fears and confront her tormentor, because she knows she has you in her corner. If you have the courage to stand up to the very gods themselves, then she can stand up to Orin. Romanced or not, your presence alone is enough to give her the strength to do something she would otherwise be too terrified to do.

Minthara deserves the honor to solo duel Orin in a fight to the death. Minthara deserves the right to achieve vengeance for herself. No, I do not care that this confrontation would conflict with a Durge playthrough. In fact, it would provide a phenomenal source of some interesting, and toxic, drama between Durge and Minthara. Especially if they're in a relationship. This also does not mean that Minthara killing Orin instead of Durge would not have its consequences (because it most certainly will). Even if Minthara does not fight Orin, it would be so much better if Minthara was just given the fucking chance to yell at Orin like all the other companions in their personal quests.

[danwhobrowses]

5 Underrated Things or Tactics That May Aid Bell's Hells to Victory

Spoilers up to Campaign 3 Episode 116 below

Well Critters, it all comes down to this.

Vox Machina dismantled the Malleus Keep, killed Ozo (the Bozo) Kruft, and freed the Champion of Ravens which removed the tidal lock on Ruidus, and now the Mighty Nein have disintegrated the Weave Mind, completing essentially a full dismantling of the Kreviris Imperium, all of which quicker than I anticipated. All that's left is the Hallowed Cage, where Ludinus Da'leth and his inner circle are using his harness to try and fully destroy Liliana Temult. Bell's Hells begin a race against time to save her, but also a race to defeat Ludinus before he unleashes his intentions unto Exandria and its Pantheon with Predathos, and then decide for themselves what they do with the God Eater.

Suffice to say, and I dunno about everyone else but, I am terrified. I believe they can win but Ludinus is not to be underestimated, this second harness means he may be stronger - and he was already the strongest wizard alive - and have access to more powers compared to his simulacra, plus Predathos may come during or after this battle, which can put the Hells in a weakened state. Matt has likely prepared his best and worst for this final battle too, but the Hells aren't Lv. 20 combatants like the other groups; there's no 9th level spells, no Divine Intervention, and the group lost their cleric ~20 episodes back, so even though VM and the Nein were ultimately successful within 1-2 episodes having to use both of their auto-succeed Divine Interventions from their two clerics in the process, this is the battle. And with that is a ridiculous amount of tension for Ludinus and for what comes after. For all we know, the cast may've already recorded ahead enough to have finished the final fight, maybe even finished the campaign (though I hope not, partly because I don't want it to end yet but also I feel like the dawn of the new era should be explored regardless of what choice the Hells make, plus some characters could use a bit more resolution after the big fight and the pressure of stakes and time sensitivity have been alleviated) but for us it's a nervous wait, and a wonder of what can be done to win and what choice will be made to determine the future of Exandria, Ruidus, their faith and their people. So, this is my indulging into that first part, 5 lower-key things or tactics that might not have been initially thought of that could make things easier to defeat Ludinus.

Liliana, the Inner Circle, and the Arcane Battery Provided that the Hells make it in time to stop Liliana from being totally destroyed by the harness (which is very possible since Laudna does have that tracking spell on him since Aeor, it's all about speed and not running into enemies) she will still be without her magic to fight. Ludinus' inner circle holding her down is comprised of Reilorans but also other Ruidusborns, and that's something the Hells can expose. Liliana cannot fight, but Ruidusborns can take spell slots from each other, so Liliana and any KO'd Ruidusborns from the inner circle can be used as spell slot fuel for Imogen and Fearne. Ludinus also gave a 9-slot fully-charged Arcane Battery to the Hells in order to trigger Delilah within Laudna for his escape, the battery can help recharge Laudna's slots too which makes this tactic handy for the witches of the group.

Dunamancy One of Ludinus' most important tools for his plan has been Luxon Beacons, a device able to unravel even divine magic, but much like the Harness it can prove his undoing. Dunamancy hasn't been touched upon as much as early C3 hinted it could have, but for lack of a better phrase, the possibilities are still endless. The Hells have multiple Potions of Possibility at their disposal to aid with rolls, but they also were given a Sphere of Dunamantic Restoration by the Kryn, which will trigger the effects of a Short Rest and a health and spell slot recharge - which can be handy in a pinch and to reuse some once per short rest abilities. Ashton is the key factor though, I've mentioned it a few times already but we don't know if these items will behave differently with them, via their own internal dunamancy abilities. Given the unknown factor, that's why it's not deemed as much of a tactic as it is a Hail Mary, but it is one that could lead to Ludinus' own magic unraveling, and maybe even Predathos' too

The Whirling Dervish & Conditional Advantages In Vassalheim, Dorian received his family sword: Gambolcleft, the Vortex Blade. One of its yet to be used abilities involves a once a day repetitive use of striking an enemy, similar to how Ozo killed Vex, provided that they attack with Disadvantage. Dorian is already looking at a high attack roll given Gambolcleft's +3 to attack and hit rolls, and Master's Flourish means he doesn't have to use a Bardic Inspiration to stack a Blade Flourish (Defensive Flourish is probably best, the damage is also doubled by Gambolcleft), the only quibble is the disadvantage. Fortunately, most of the Hells have skills that can force Ludinus into conditions where attacks would do advantage on him: stunning and rendering him prone being most likely, but paralysis is possible if a Hold Person is successful. It would of course require his Legendary Resistances to be used up first, but if Ludinus gets stunned or knocked prone within Dorian's range, Gambolcleft could easily carve its way through him with continual hits, stacked potentially by Bless and Mark of the Messy End, for perpetual damage and make Dorian himself impossible to hit on his next turn. Stunning or Proning Ludinus also leaves Ludinus at the vicious mercy of the martial players, especially for conditions that auto-crit when hit.

The Hole (or the Bag of Holding) Occam's Razor. An old but gold tactic of the Hells could very easily be used against Ludinus too. The portable hole or the bag of holding are devoid of air, left in one long enough with it sealed would mean suffocation as have been the fate of many of the Hells' past opponents that they didn't have time to deal with. The Hole's downside is that a Strength check can lead to a creature forcing their way out, but the Hells do have plenty of skills that can impose disadvantage on Strength rolls and the aforementioned conditions could help that, Ashton's Hammer may also make it more difficult to unfold the Hole if its Immovable Rod is propped atop of it - but that'd be down to Matt's discretion. The Bag of Holding doesn't have the strength save, but it is smaller so it may not be able to fit him in it. I'm not sure if Ludinus can use Gate to escape either, dunno if that leads to the whole extradimensional rip thing that happens if you open one while in the other, but if he does it's a concentration spell so the Hells could just keep knocking him back from the other side, a bigger group of enemies in either also reduces the time needed before they suffocate.

The Harness and the One-Chance Polymorph Right now Ludinus is using a harness to destroy Liliana, comparing it to the one in Moleasmyr it'll potentially take about an hour to finish the process providing that this factor wasn't improved upon. However, removing magic within a being for a whole day only required a minute of contact in the Hells' one and maybe Ludinus', thus his creation and reason for long life and power can also be the key to his downfall. Holding Ludinus down for a minute is of course not as easy as it sounds but that's where Polymorph can come in. Polymorph lasts at most an hour, so as long as Ludinus is changed into a creature that can easily be restrained they can use the harness on it and remove Ludinus of his entire arsenal in order to finish him off without the risk of his high level spells. The tricky part is getting Polymorph to succeed; Wisdom is after all a Wizard's bread and butter, but there is a single gambit that could make it work. It requires all Legendary Resistances to be gone of course, and for Laudna and Braius to be conscious; Braius has a once per long rest ability to change a Wisdom saving throw to a Charisma one, which he used to allow Dorian to succeed in making the Dominox dance in the live show, Laudna's Void Puppet can force disadvantage on saves to those within 5ft of it, which will negate his magical resistance to just a clean roll. Orym can also use Hex to impose a disadvantage, which may be able to stack, but this would also hinge on Ludinus' charisma not being super high and if the Polymorph fails once it will likely not be able to be tried again.

The fight won't be easy, but there are avenues that can make it less dangerous, a strategy is very much required for such a foe. All the while my strategy remains keeping up the prayer circle. Deep breaths everyone.

[la-galaxie-langblr]

Year abroad declaration of intent due in 12 days and I'm kind of freaking out about it 😭

[sodaneko]

Lale !! <33333 I hope you're doing well love!!!! It's your turn for some infiltration and I have a few people on your list!!! Namely, Oikawa, Omi, Osamu! :D

in the most sfw way possible I think Oikawa likes taking showers together and gets a watterfall shower head so you can both be warm at the same time

I think he does complain about the temp you set though

is your hair long? yes, but he loves washing it for you because it just feels so intimate to him

Now- guys

Argentina Oikawa??? oh yes oh my

He hears through the grapevine that you like the look of gold jewelry against tan skin

Now, he naturally starts getting a tan and then asks Iwa for advice on jewelry and gets rings and necklaces

I think he likes thin jewelry not chunky

He always has a hairtie or scrunchie on his wrist methinks because he likes tying your hair for you!!!!

Calls your terms of endearment in Spanish! :D

Okay Sakusa time !!!

Now, as mentioned in the discord he doesn't bring up marriage until after he retires

Now he has the horrible though of dying his hair when he gets his first grey streak and you have to fight thee hair dye out of his hand

Keeps his hair longer because he likes the feeling of your nails scratching his scalp

Calls you "dumbass and idiot" in an affectionate way. Like his voice is always warm when he says it even though he's sighing

I don't think he's a big pda person but I think if he's jealous that all goes out the window

He's grabbing you and pulling you close and kissing you in front of the person

the gentleman that he is he always holds your door open for you

Loves neck kisses

giving or receiving he doesn't care, although receiving them makes him shiver a little ngl

Wants to cry /pos when you kiss the moles on his forehead

Osamu time guys!!! <33

When you accidentally like run into things he'll llaugh a little bit and go "make sure to watch where you're going darling." and holds your hand

Okay food safety? Idk what that is

He has a carnal urge to pull you into the dry storage and make out with you in there

He comes out with his lips red and puffy from kissing you and you come out with hickeys on your neck

do I think he has tattoos? yes one, it's matching with you and I think he got it over his heart and it's a lily and you got a Lavendar since it's the companion plant of lilies <3 :3

I think he has messy handwriting to the point where it's really hard to tell what he's writing because he writes it so quick

When the two of you are laying in bed he traces words on your back and makes you guess (usually just repeats 'I love you')

can only look at you with a lovesick gaze lol

I used your own list against you mawahaha <3 I hope you enjoyed these, more to come for your birthday more than likely <3 :D

-lots of love Kai <3

how this message found me